


It's Game Over

by Senxvi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, BoyxBoy, Child Abuse, Feels, Implied Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Implied Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Masturbation, Oiken - Freeform, Sad, Sexual Content, Sexual Harassment, Smut, Social Anxiety, Yaoi, extreme anxiety, kenmakozume - Freeform, kurootetsurou, oikawa tooru - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:07:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6003496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senxvi/pseuds/Senxvi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU! Where Kenma is a Video Game Designer.<br/>He's very closed in because of his extreme anxiety.<br/>Kenma always fails to realize that there is no pressing buttons to control feelings.<br/>He treats his life like a series of games that don't matter one bit.<br/>Until he meets Kuroo Tetsurou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This has a spice of Tattoo AU! And Gaming AU!  
> Kenma is 24 and Kuroo is 25  
> This story is going to KILL will feels because KuroKen is my OTP so why not make them suffer incredibly? 
> 
> Anyways! Please enjoy.

A gentle breeze.

A simply amazing view of an orange-colored sunset.

An ocean that gently embraces the sand with its touch.

"This sight is to die for," whispered Kenma as the seagulls soared overhead through the sky, feathers falling delicately as the noises of life filled the clear air.

Every single detail, shining and reflecting against Kenma's golden-colored eyes from the screen.

"The detail and work they put into this..... I need to learn how to use the program they used."

His hot breath was soft, leaving the screen of his PSVita foggy since he was under his bed sheets.

This is exactly what he loved: When his room was absolutely filled with darkness and his only possible light source was coming from his gaming system.

He wasn't into the whole "poetic-speech-about-why-video-games-are-the-reason-why-I-live" shit, but that's exactly was it was. He didn't want to do anything else but to play his video games.

Not only that, but he wished to create one, something so beautiful and intricate, a game where everything he put into it was his work and his whole heart. He was so into games that he listened to game music all day, which may sound strange, but one can guarantee that Kenma was a hardcore gamer and would never want to let anyone down with a crappy game if he ever made one.

He was working as a video game designer for a gaming company.

Life never worked the way he wanted.

He wanted the real thing.

No one just falls into the position of being a game designer.

One must claw, kick, scream, and push one's way into it, like a stray back-ally cat.

Most designers start off as programmers or artists.

"You really don't talk, do you, Kenma Kozume?" The voice stated. Kenma's golden orbs looked up, luminescent. The man in front of him was tall with tanned skin and black-spiked hair. His description makes him sound like he could fit in an old spice commercial.

Kenma just stared. "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them." he shifted his shoulders straight and rigidly to looked down to the wall.

Extended periods of eye contact was uncomfortable...

"Oho? I see then. I can't relate, but I can definitely understand. I'm Kuroo... Kuroo Tetsurou. I'm the room next to yours, but you don't know that, because you don't pay attention to people." The smirk he now wore was clearly depicted in the tone of his voice.

Kenma nodded slightly in agreement.

_Why was this guy talking?_

_Why is his hair so spiky?_

_Did he remember to press pause on his PSVita?_

_Shit._

_What if he's loosing all his combos?!_

_All that work for nothing?_

"Hello? Heeeeeeee-"

Cut off of from his worries, Kenma flinched up and his hair shifted against his neck.

"Uhhhh did you hear me? You look like scared Kitten."

Kuroo coughed out a chuckle as Kenma shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.

"I said, maybe you should try talking to me more because I'm interested in making new friends. What do you think? You seem different and I seem different from you. Maybe it'll work." Kuroo looked into Kenma's piercing yellow eyes and quickly looked away.

Kenma's mind was on the game system sitting on his bed.

"I don't think-" he started softly before now being cut off.

"Awww you don't have to cut me off here, Dude think about it first... Friends... Okay?"

Kenma just nodded in a reply.

Kuroo gave a simple wave with a weird smile.

"I'll be coming up to you again, got it? So don't look like such a startled kitten next time."

Kenma's hand slowly went up to give a boring wave back but quickly turned away.

Kenma turned his head around just a bit to look behind him and mumbled softly:

".....Don't call me a Kitten."

* * * *

The familiar scent of his room made him feel calm.

Kenma noticed that his heartbeat wasn't as calm as it should have been though.

People always made him so anxious.

The feeling felt _disgusting_ to him.

Quickly jumping onto his bed and grabbing his PSVita, he hoped the screen said 'paused'.

It did.

"Thank god." Kenma said in a deep sigh.

After Kenma pressed 'Start' his mind went off inside the game.

Nothing else mattered.

Everything else was irrelevant.


	2. Chapter Two

"Why does _your son_ never get out of his room and do something with his life!?!" The anger was mounting quickly.

"Hey! He's your son too you know!" The tension between the two's arguments began to become bitter as the words were hurled carelessly, unforgiving.

"Take credit for _him_?!"

There's no good view of them speaking, but the words were knives being throw to the chest.

It's like watching from a child's height.

_The heart hurts– it feels like there's an unbearable pain._

"I think you're the one who's stuck here in this house everyday with him, teaching him how to be a useless prick."

_Daddy, why would you say that about me?_

"It's your fault he's like this."

I _s what you're saying true, Daddy?_

_I want to cry._

_I feel so alone._

_Why is he yelling at mommy?!_

_Don't yell at her!_

_I t ' s m y f a u l t._

"It's your fault he's trash just Like Yo"—bolting straight out of bed Kenma quickly reached for his phone under his pillow.

His mind refusing to recollect anything what so ever.

He had one notification pending.  
A message from 'Boss':

Get here by 11:00AM sharp I don't want you to be late.

He looked at the time; it was 4:55AM and there was cold sweat dripping down from his forehead.

* * * * 

  
The large glass doors were opened, and in came the sharp, strong scent of coffee, slapping his face along with the floral aroma drifting about. People came in and out of the café, bustling about in the busy atmosphere.

A line of about five people was made, and he walked over to become the sixth person.

He picked up his phone and looked at the time: 10:30AM

He had about a good 20 minutes to sit down and another good 10 minutes to walk to the building he worked in.

He was the fourth person in line now.

His fingers slid across his screen going to 'Settings' and trying to connect to Starbucks' Free-Wifi.

'Why is it not connecting?' He sighed as the little load button just swirled _over_ and _over again._

_Over and over again._

_O v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n._

Finally, A check mark appeared which assured him he was connected.

"Sir, can I help you?"

The words were heard from the corner of his ear, and his head shot up, realizing that it was his turn.

_The wifi took that long to connect?_

_Did I make her wait too long?_

_Are people staring?_

_Shit._

"Yeah, um, can I have, um, a Grande Chai Latte?"

Kenma's voice was soft-spoken as he took a soft breath before proceeding,  
"....a-and uh a Corn Muffin please."

"Sure! Can I get your name?" The cashier asked cheerfully.

His heart was beating abnormally.

"Ken- Kenma"

_Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump_

"Your total is $5.34."

_Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump_

Kenma quickly took his wallet out, and with quivering hands, he rapidly whipped out the first bill he could find and handed it over to the girl.

He eyes shifted to his side.

Then to his other side.

"Excuse me.... S-Sir....?"

He flinched up slightly and looked forward.

"This is just a dollar... You gave me a dollar."

His body felt numb.

His fingers felt stone cold.

The AC blasting in the place didn't help either.

"I'm- I'm sorry." His frozen hands reached towards the dollar bill to take it back. Then, he replaced it with a 10 dollar bill to hand it to the lady.

"I'm sorry." He said again softly.

The cashier nodded and responded with a simple  
"it's okay don't worry about it, here's your Corn Muffin," and gave Kenma his money and Muffin.

Kenma stepped out of the line, legs numbed and ears ringing as he went to wait for his drink.

"Drink for _Kenman_." A worker said a placed the Latte on the counter.

Kenma grabbed it and started walking so fast.

His numb body didn't even feel anything.

_What the hell was that?!_

Why couldn't he function like a normal person?!

Bumping into a couple people didn't matter once he was out of there.

"–enma wait!"

_What? Did someone call his name?_  
_No...No– but he could have sworn he heard his name being called._

_No._

_It was just his mind playing games with him_

* * * *

"How's work going for you today, Kenman?" a voice spoke with a chuckle. A hand was laid on Kenma's shoulder and he flinched a bit.  
His hair was in the way of his eyesight, so he pulled it behind his ear to look at the person, a bit confused.

His boss. The man had bright silver hair with two pieces that always seemed to defy gravity, a cowlick.

 _Kenman? A new nickname?_  
Kenma's face was clearly confused by it.

"On your Starbucks cup, they misspelled your name," he chuckled gently, pointing at it.

He was right; on the cup, it clearly spelled ' _Kenman_ '. He never realized it because of the, well, incident.

His boss, an opulent man, who was sweet and gentle with his words, never really gave Kenma any trouble.

It was easy to get comfortable with him.

"Mr. Sugawara... Do you have the work for me today?" He asked looking at his boss.

His boss had a small birthmark at the top right corner of his eye. It complimented Mr. Sugawara's handsome features very well.

Mr. Sugawara's eyes blinked a couple times before answering.  
"Ah, Yes I do! I wanted you to get here early, because I wanted to let you know that you can take today's work home. I need you to finish it by the end of the week. There's about 150 story boards that need to be redrawn and inked for display... Can you handle that for me?"

Mr. Sugawara's voice was very sweet. He actually has been helping Kenma proceed in setting a strong foundation for his career. He helped Kenma find the place, where he lives now. Apparently the landlord of the apartments, Daichi, has some sort of relation with him.

"Yes. I can handle it. I have a lot of time."  
He really did have a lot of time, and he loved drawing. It made his mind wander to an empty place. An empty place that felt calm.

"Alright, Kenma. I'll be counting on you! I believe in you; I know you won't let me down," he said with a smile that was as bright as the sun.

It made Kenma feel as if he was watching from the dark...

The fact that he didn't smile often showed how dull he must've looked to everyone.

"Okay." Kenma responded respectfully, obedient.

* * * *

Carrying an office box that Mr. Sugawara insisted on bringing into his room was annoying.

His boss had said:  
_"Kenma! I don't want you to come back into this office saying you needed something. Just relax, and take this stuff home. Bring it back, and there will be no wrong in that, right? Good luck!"_

Mr. Sugawara was too kind... He didn't deserve that kind of kindness at all.

His eyes were tired of the bright light from being outside in the morning. He preferred when it was sunset.

His keys dropped to the ground as he was trying to open his door, and a low, irritated sigh escaped his lips.

"Here, let me help," said a familiar low, raspy voice.

Kenma's golden eyes came to look at the sleek obsidian hair that went down to grab his keys.

As Kuroo was coming up, he stopped midway, his eyes meeting directly with Kenma's.

Both eyes locked together perfectly, meeting like the eclipse of the sun and moon, perfect golden-yellow and a pure, deep black melting together but staying in stark, striking contrast.

"I saw you at Starbucks today. Actually, I called your name but you didn't hear, I think."

Dammit, it had to have been _him_ of all people. Why couldn't it have been in his head?

Kenma's eyes tried to look away, but Kuroo had such a strong aura about him that he was trapped, staying intimidated by the beauty

"You looked really afraid. I was worried, Kenma."

Those gentle words resounded through his mind. Someone worried... about him...?

Kenma's hands gripped the box tightly until his fingers turned white, throat clenching as he tried to let out words.

Kuroo's face was too close. He could feel his breath. It was sweet but so strong. He probably took his coffee black with a lot of sugar.

"Kenma, are you alright?" Kuroo asked gently, brow furrowing in a puzzled, softened look of concern.

Kenma just nodded, head moving rapidly, as he stared at every gentle feature on Kuroo's face. The way his nose bridge went perfectly straight down, following up to his eyebrows that aligned perfectly to define his eyes. Geeze, His jawline could probably cut if it was made out of glass.

"I'm alright," he answered after the pause, voice almost hollow sounding, numbed from the amount of feelings pulsing through his chest.

He was lying through his teeth.

He could feel the pink heat laying across his pale face.

"Which key is it?" Kuroo proceeded to ask.

"Um, I can d-" he was cut off immediately.

"Which key is it?" He repeated in a smoother, calming voice. He obviously wanted to help.

"The one with the cat design," Kenma replied shyly, eyes fluttering away for a moment as the relentless heat continued to radiate off of him.

"Alright." The key was entered; Kenma's door was opened, and Kuroo grabbed the box Kenma was holding, walking in without asking.

Kenma followed without much of a care, only a bit of a startled..

"So, what it is this stuff? Porn stash? Pile of dating sim games? Hm?" Kuroo chuckled out mischievously, eyebrow raised for a moment, as if he wanted to take part of it if there was any.

"Work." Kenma said plainly before he followed soon after with "I need to re-draw 150 story boards by the end of the week." He was setting his jacket down. Realizing that Kuroo went silent.

He was looking through the box and seeing how everything was sketched out roughly and every movement was represented with each one.

"...May I help?"

Kenma flinched, eyes fluttering upward, his golden eyes showed more light than usual with those words.

"...Help?" He inquired with curiousity.

"Yeah! Oh, I'm a tattooist! I went to college and majored in art; I've studied art all my life. I work at the tattoo shop near the building you work at. That's why I saw you at Starbucks."

Kenma took a moment to process what he had just heard, his mind not knowing whether to consider it completely crazy or useful.

"Um I guess mayb-" he was cut off. For the second time tonight.

"So then we should start getting to work then shall we?! We could work like a body system! We could be like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping. Keep the oxygen moving and our minds working!"

What the hell was this guy saying?

Kenma pulled his hair behind his ear and didn't know how to react at all. He felt calm now, and surprisingly comfortable, but his heart was still beating at an abnormal rate.

'People are weird, being around them is weird.' He thought as he nodded to Kuroo with a blank expression on his face.

'Keep the oxygen moving and your mind working' He mumbled under his breath.

"Hm, did you say something?" wondered Kuroo with an excited expression.

"Nothing." answered Kenma, feeling a weird twitch at the corner of his lips that signaled it was a smile, almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading Chapter Two of my Fanfiction!  
> Disclaimer: Haikyuu!! And it's characters are not mine at all I do not take credit for them!  
> Any other title of a game I mention in hhis Fanfiction is also not mine and belongs to their rightful owner :)


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I hope you like my Fanfiction so far :) I'm sorry for any errors in this chapter I didn't have the time to edit it much!  
> This chapter has semi-smut I'm not spoiling so just read but proceed with this warning! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!  
> 

Kenma's breathing was soft.  
His senses coming back from a. . .

Nap?

His body felt warm. The feeling of being pressed up against a big body pillow made his body tingle with warmth.

_Wait-_

_This feeling wasn't normal to him._

His eyes quickly shot open but his body still felt so exhausted, so he couldn't move.

"Am I on top of something?" He mumbled tiredly.

"Umnnn?" Another voice made a sound as if they were in the middle of waking up also.

Kenma looked up a bit surprised to see Kuroo. He remembered that they spent the whole entire night awake and drawing. They never even spoke to each other, they didn't really need to since it was work.

The company was enough. It felt so normal.

He slowly tried to slide off of Kuroo's body until the bigger male wrapped his arms around Kenma's waist. Pulling him up against him and holding him like a teddy bear.

"I- I- UH" he paused, his breathing becoming a bit heavy from the panic he started to feel.

This panic was different then the type of panic he was use to. His body felt so warm. Kenma's face was flushing red as he tried to lisp out some words.

"K-K-Kuroo? Kuroo? Nnn.."  
He huffed and started to poke Kuroo's face. "Kuroo Tetsurou."  
He said blankly, unamused by now.

Kuroo quickly shot up, causing Kenma to flinch away from him, and started whining "who bought the new alarm?!?" He hissed.

His eyes refused to open, Kuroo's hands reaching towards the two pillows on top of the bed and squished them both to the sides of his head.  
"Mmmn....nnnnm kensum.... manublah" Kuroo mumbled in the whiny tone that clearly said 'leave-me-alone-I-want-to-sleep'.

Kenma couldn't help but stare at him and just chuckle. His cheeks still stained with the rose pink color.

Kenma's body shifted across the bed to get down. He started to slowly walk across to his small little kitchen and prepare some coffee

Kenma's mind was traveling to different thoughts each second. It varied from:

' _Why was he so warm?'_

_'How did I fall asleep?'_

_'Why is he still here?'_

_'Why did I agree to let him help me?'_

_'When is he leaving?'_

_'Why is he SO WARM?'_

"Hey, Kitty, is that coffee I smell?"  
He felt so nervous.. He turned around.  
"....yes" he said plainly but his heart rate started to get faster.

"Only for you...I'm not drinking any." He added on that last bit quickly or it would've sounded odd.

Kuroo's head tilted to the side as he spoke "Why?" His curiosity caused him to get closer to Kenma.

He was now right behind him, tilting his head down a bit and whispering into Kenma's ear "Do you get hyper easily?" He questioned.

Kenma felt chills against his spine. He wasn't use to being this close to a person.  
"N-No... I get sleepy when I drink coffee." He said plainly. "It takes the opposite effect with me. Warm things make me pass out easily. I drink coffee at night."  
Kenma started to pour the coffee into a red mug with black stripes.  
His hands were trembling just a tiny bit. "Here."

He turned around to look at Kuroo.

His face was an expression that Kenma had only seen in video games. An expression filled with interest.

Like there were stars in his eyes.

_What's up with his face?_

"Are you going to take your coffee?"

Kuroo quickly blinked and took the warm mug.

"Hey Kenma. . ."

"Hmm?"

"You're . . . so interesting." Kuroo said with an amazed sigh and took a sip of his coffee.

The small kitchen was silent for a couple minutes. Kuroo's eyes lit up a bit as he finished taking his second sip.  
"This is exactly how I drink my coffee..... Black with a whole lot of sugar."

Kenma shrugged. "I just carelessly put the sugar in."

That was a lie.

He clearly remembered smelling Kuroo's strong yet sweet coffee breath yesterday when his face was less than five inches away from him.

Kenma slid to Kuroo's side, walking to his little gaming corner.

He began to turn on his PS4.

"Kenma, there's this cafe I want to take you to. They have amazing coffee and their sweets are so delicious. It's actually around the corner.. The people there are really nice, they make you feel right at home." Kuroo's voice was smooth and assuring.

Kenma's heart felt very tight at that split second.

He wanted to go..but the memory of what happened at Starbucks flashed in his mind.

_The memory of ALL the times he's fucked up flash in his mind._

"You can take someone else." He said coldly, really not meaning the tone he was taking.

"But Kenma-"

"I just want to stay home." He cut Kuroo off rudely.

"Awweee come on now~ don't be such a useless bum~" Kuroo said playfully in a sweet and cocky tone.

Kenma's heart clenched.

His throat had that weird knot in the middle of it. That was a sign he wanted to cry

_Useless._

_Useless._

_Useless._

_Useless._

_Useless._

Kenma's fingers were shaking on the red PS4 controller.

" _Leave._ "

Kenma's breath was shaking. Kuroo tried to speak words but he paused the second he wanted to say anything.

Silent tears rolled down Kenma's face but Kuroo couldn't see that because he was facing the TV.

"You really want me to leave?"  
Kuroo said sounding upset and startled.

"You heard me." He let out with a soft exhale. It was hard not to make it obvious that he was crying.

"Oh. Okay." Kuroo said with a plain yet puzzled tone of voice.

The door was shut and the only thing that was able to be heard in the room was the title screen to  
'Mortal Combat X'.

The shower of tears streamed down Kenma's face. His fingers rapidly smashing the buttons in the controller with all the force he could.

'Let my thoughts just go away' He pleaded desperately.

* * * *

  
Characters on the TV talking about something powerful that they felt. Going forward to complete their missions and destinies.

Kenma wished he had the guts to go forward to complete his destiny.

He was completely convinced that he wasn't worth having a strong goal or destiny to go forward to. Just gaming. Nothing more and nothing less.

There's no one Kenma disapproves of or roots for more than himself.

Everything just seemed to go completely against him.

He understood that it was his choice if he wanted to go or not.

Yet, it felt like someone else answered for him.

The monster called anxiety that stood at the top of his head, weighing him down completely, haunted his every movement.

So he thinks about himself being in a living hell. Wanting to forget about the love he never once felt from his father.

Wanting to scream about love he wished he had.

_Love he never once felt?_

_Never once?_

_Not even once?_

_Love?_

Kenma's breathing started to get heavy.

It was too early in the morning for this.

He threw his controller and quickly ran towards his bed and slammed himself on it.

_The smell.... The smell...._

The fucking scent that made his body suddenly feel a million things as once.

_Anger, Sadness, Loneliness, Happiness, Nervous. . ._

_Horny?_

_'Kuroo. . .Tetsurou. ."_

_No._

_Wait._

He should be angry. Why isn't he angry? Kenma questioned himself. The questioning only made his thoughts swirl around Kuroo even more.

His whole body started aching in places it hasn't ached since reading his last Fanfic of Link X Zelda on Tumblr. The feelings that fanfiction gave his body weren't even close to how bad it was now.

This was an ache that he's never felt towards another living, breathing, person.

_Ever._

His eyes tightly shut closed in the warm feeling his lower body felt. This scent was intoxicating. It was taking over parts of him that he thought he could control.

"K-Kur-" It starts with the breathing. Kenma's soft breaths turn into quickened hot sighs. Sweet little vibrations of lust crawling above his spine, causing his hand to slide down his pants.

"No~" His eyes quickly opened to see that his member was out of their boxers.

Kenma started whining as he fought with the urge to touch himself.

He didn't want to.

Before his mind could even process the fact that he didn't want to do it– his fingers slipped against his member.

_Oh god._

_He definitely wanted to._

His mouth quickly opened into a small 'o' as he moved his hand up and down.

"A-A-Anhh~!" His back arched a bit. He didn't want to be too loud so he bit into a pillow.

Kuroo had this pillow against his head. His dirty mind pictured biting Kuroo's shoulder while the little kitten was getting screwed senseless by the man with the obsidian colored hai-

"Faster~" Kenma's legs trembled in ecstasy.

"Kur~oo~ Faster~ faster~" Kenma kept his voice low, hugging the pillow with one hand and using the other to jerk off even faster.

Saliva ran down his chin, it traced down his jawline. He pictured Kuroo running his tongue along his sweet skin. The tingles along his body started to weaken him.

The idea of Kuroo's sexy voice whispering inside his ear during sex weakened him. The idea of the heat radiating against his body. The sweat. The pulses. The screams.

"I- It's s-so~ goo~od" His eyes watered as a hot feeling down in his lower body. The muscle pulses made him twitch.  
A weak moan escaping his lips.

His hands began to slow down a bit as the rush against his member lead to a spill of semen sliding against his fingers.

Kenma's breathing was heavy. Sweat beating down his forehead as he stared up the ceiling.

Right now, He didn't feel a bunch of emotions. He wasn't sad. He wasn't mad. Not even nervous.

He felt one thing and one thing only:

_Satisfaction._


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a long time to type, revise and edit so that's why it's been so long since my last update. I made it a thing now that every four chapters it will be told in Kuroo's point of view!  
> Hope you like this chapter! Enjoy! Leave comments :)  
> Im a noob at writing so if anything is bad I'm sorry :/ I'm doing this for fun so I just hope you enjoy.

[KUROO'S POV]

Monday's fucking suck. That's all Kuroo had to say about that.

This Monday sucked in particular for one particular reason:

He'd hurt Kenma's feelings.

He could hear it in his voice. 

Man, he thought he'd been hurt before, but the word 'leave' had never hurt so much. 

Kuroo sighed, walking to work for the day. It was nearing the end of winter, so there was only a bit of leftover snow on the ground  ready to be melted away and replaced with flowers.

Oh man.

He really screwed up... But he didn't know how. 

Kenma was so confusing, but, in a way, that made Kuroo want to explore his every detail even more.

He walked into work worried, feeling like the thought of Kenma would overflow his mind and make him fuck up on his tattoos.

"Hey hey hey!!!" A raspy voice said as Kuroo sat down in his chair.

"Yo, Bokuto" he sighed with an uncertain smile and waved his hand lazily.

"Wait a minute, bro, you don't look like yourself today...." Bokuto raised his thick eyebrows.

"You're right, Man. " Kuroo shook his head and sunk back in his chair.  
"Listen, I met someone I like... A lot. But they're so hard to get to. I've been trying so hard but they're super- I don't even know how to explain it- they're just so different from me and just because of that reason alone I can't..."

He got closer to Bokuto and lowered his voice.

"Take him out on a date." He whispered. "He's such an anxious person; it's so weird... He's constantly on edge. He wants to stay home and do nothing." He paused for a second. "Well, he doesn't just do nothing that's not what I meant- fuck- aGGH. He- He plays video games all day and is just all over electronic stuff. He works for a video game company but he does his work at home which is even worse!"

Bokuto's expression was entirely puzzled. His eyebrows rose up in surprise and his nose scrunched up in confusion. He looked like a confused owl with his huge dirt-golden eyes. They stared right into Kuroo's obsidian orbs with intent to say something. 

"Kuroo, I haven't heard you talk about liking someone ever since–"

Kuroo rapidly cut him off.

"Don't even mention anything about the past." He rustled his fingers into his spiky bed head tiredly. 

"Okay but listen... This person you like now seems to be stressing you out to be honest." He sighed. "It's just a crush man..." He turned around and faced his back to Kuroo.

"No. No it's not. I know it's not." His eyebrow twitched in annoyance, voice surprisingly firm.

"Turn back around, Bro."

Bokuto sighed and swirled his chair back around to face Kuroo.

"Then why are you complaining about how they are?" He questions, eyebrow arching as he crossed his arms, sighing heavily. "You can't change a person."

Kuroo's chest felt tight with the sudden words that his best friend was saying. 

"Then what can you do?" He asked weakly. 

Bokuto let his arms free from being crossed. He clasped his hands together and put them in between his knees. 

"You love them." 

The white-and-black haired male sighed deeply and stared into Kuroo's eyes with sincerity." You don't complain about who they are. Accept them for who they are."

Kuroo's heart was throbbing and his eyes began watering slightly. 

"Kuroo, your 11AM appointment is here." spoke his boss from the corner. Kuroo quickly shook away all the pain he felt and nodded. "Yes, I'm all set up tell them to come in."

                             * * * * 

The sweet scent of desserts melted into his nose. He could just taste all the different flavors... Strawberries, Fresh Bread, Chocolate, Vanilla, Sugar Cookies. 

They were all perfect.

All the treats looked absolutely delicious in their cases. They looked like they were sculptures. Kuroo's mouth began to water from how delicious it all looked.

"Can I help you?" Bubbled a bright voice filled with sweetness. 

"U-Uh yeah... Actually, what's something here that would cheer someone up from getting their feelings hurt?" Kuroo asked, rubbing the back of his neck in guilt.

"You, sir, came to the perfect place." Said the orange haired male with a chuckle. Kuroo had a reassuring smile on his face. 

"If you look over here..." He said with a soft smile, "we have the BEST chocolate cupcakes drizzled with a honey cream."

"Oh! And our new Green Tea Mochi Buns are amazing! But then again, I am the creator, so- I can't really be the judge of that!" He paused and pointed at what he was talking about. "Now our donuts- those were designed by my boyfriend, and I think they're so most delicious things ever. When you bite into them it feels like you're biting into a crunchy croissant. And after you bite them they have three layers of mystery. Well, the middle is a bittersweet apple pie filling that makes me want to throw my hands back and scream like AAAHHH!!!" He threw his hands up and laughed. "The rest of the layers are for you to find out!" He winked, and Kuroo just laughed along with him.

"I'll take two of all the ones you just mentioned, and two hot chocolates please." Kuroo said with a sincere smile. 

"Really!? Wow you're so kind! Thank you so much for shopping at our bakery!" He paused in talking to put the stuff in cute, small boxes. The orange haired male was a ball of sunshine. 

"I'm Hinata! Please come again anytime!" Kuroo gave him the total pay with a smile. "I'll make sure I do come again."

Hinata handed the two small boxes to Kuroo. "Be careful now! Don't drop anything on your way home!"

                             * * * * 

Kuroo finally arrived in front of Kenma's apartment door. The small little café was farther than he'd thought it was. 

He slowly knocked on the door and waited. He felt his stomach sink in slight nervousness. Would Kenma reject him or something? He didn't know, but he'd take that chance. 

He felt the door knob turn incredibly slowly, which added to his fear. The door opened halfway, Kenma popping his head out. 'Dammit he's so fucking adorable' cursed Kuroo in his mind. 

Kuroo looked at Kenma and gave a soft grin. "I went to that place I wanted to take you after work... I got you some treats and hot chocolate..." He saw Kenma open the door more. His full figure being seen. He was wearing sports shorts and a red hoodie that was a bit too big for his small figure. His legs were amazing. They looked so soft. 

Kuroo realized he was looking for too long and quickly looked up into Kenma's eyes. "Can I come in?" he asked respectfully. "The hot chocolate will get cold."

Kenma left the door open and just walked into the room. His expressions were always so hard to read, but he took that as a yes.

Kuroo walked in and saw that the lights were dimmed, and Kenma was playing some music from his computer. 

"What are you listening to?" Kuroo asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

Kenma's golden eyes met with Kuroo's. "It's part of the Legend of Zelda Soundtrack..." He said softly. "Do you want me to get mugs?" 

Gaming. Of course. He should've seen that one coming. 

"Oh, yes please. They put the hot chocolate in a container so it wouldn't get cold." Kuroo responded. Kenma's eyes were the most beautiful things. It made him feel so sad to think that those perfect orbs had to start crying because of him. 

He saw Kenma get up and leave. He took this chance to set up all the treats he got. He hoped Kenma would like it. Food was great... good food could cheer up anyone, right?

Kenma had come back and Kuroo watched his expression. He could have sworn he saw Kenma's eyes widen just a little and his eyebrows prop up.  
"I got chocolate fudge cupcakes drizzled in honey, Mystery Donuts, and Green Tea Mochi." 

"Mystery donuts?" Said Kenma a puzzled and shocked tone.

"Don't even ask... I don't remember what the baker said it was filled with."  
Kuroo responded lightly, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Let's try those first..." Kenma's voice was soft. It was smooth; it felt like soft silk against Kuroo's ears. "Okay," he replied. 

"Let's both take a bite on three." Said Kuroo handing Kenma a donut.  
"Whoa it's heavier than it looks." He chuckled. Kenma held it and nodded in agreement. 

"Oh hold on, let me pour the hot chocolate into the mugs."  
He opened the container and poured the warm liquid into into each mug. 

"Alright, all set. Perfect, right?" Said Kuroo with a sweet grin. Kenma's lip twitched as if he wanted to smile but it seemed like he was too afraid to. He ended up just nodding in agreement. 

It was better than nothing, right? Kuroo wanted to enjoy every single detail about Kenma, regardless of 'flaws' or 'perfections'. 

"Ready?!" Kuroo inquired, chuckling, feeling quickly at ease. 

"One." He locked into eye contact with Kenma.

"Two." Kenma's eyes started to shine in excitement. 

"Three!!" They both quickly bit into the donut.

It was crunchy on the outside but once you broke into that crunchy layer you were immediately surprised with a soft doughy texture, after passing the sweet doughy texture a filling from the middle jumped into the mouth. Cinnamon, Apple, sugary and bitter at the same time. 

"Apple pie filling." Said Kenma. His face was filled with surprise as he took another bite. 

"You like apple pie?" Asked Kuroo, also taking a bit. 

Kenma nodded quickly. "I wuv apwo pii" he said with a small mouth filled with the no-longer-a-mystery-donut. 

He saw Kenma's face turn pink. 

Goddamnit why was he so cute? 

When they both finished the donut Kuroo quickly wiped his mouth and turned to look at Kenma. He had crumbs on the corner of his lips and some filling left on the bottom of his lips.

His heart started to throb. Kuroo slowly got closer to Kenma.

"You have-" his hand cupped Kenma's cheek. 

He felt Kenma flinch but not in a bad way, so he stayed there. 

He stared directly into Kenma's eyes and swiped his thumb against Kenma's bottom lip with the utmost gentle touch. 

The dim lighting made it a bit hard to see where the crumbs were, that caused Kuroo's face to get closer to Kenma's.

"You had some donut left over on your lips." He stayed in his position, breaking the eye contact to look down to Kenma's lips. 

"There's a little more left..." He whispered softly, not noticing how close his face was to Kenma's.

A warm magnetic feeling pulled him as close as he could get. 

The music in the background was echoing along the walls and bouncing against Kuroo's ears.

"What's this song playing called?" Kuroo asked fluidly, his voice low and seductive. 

Kenma's face was pure red and shocked. His golden eyes were wide open. "Um.. Um... Great Fairy's fountain.. From The Legend of Zelda.... T-Twilight Pri-Princess...." He stuttered out in his usual tone. 

The song was beautiful. It radiated with the moment they were stuck in. The sound fit like a blanket around them, only making this moment more romantic than ever. 

"I think this ones my favorite." Responded Kuroo in a way that would've made anyone receive shivers down their spine.

Was he talking about the track? Or. .  
Kenma? He didn't care to answer it. The question just floated away with the melody that was playing in the room.

The tune melted against their bodies, none of them  were able to move. 

One from shock, the other from complete enchantment.


	5. Chapter Five

At the beginning of every calm sound escaping from the computer, Kenma's breath just got a bit more uneven.

Each little beat making things more quicker.

The sweet scent of the desserts swirled around them both.

It sent tingles to Kenma's body as he stared into the eyes of the most amazing man he'd ever met. His mind being filled with a sort of need that took over his mind.

_What did he need?_

_The new Pokemon game recently announced?_

_Wait, no, shut up._

No words were spoken as their eyes closed and Kuroo's lips perfectly collided with Kenma's.

That's exactly what he needed.

It was soft, sweet, and perfect at first. Kenma's low experience in these kinds of things were obvious because his lips didn't move. His stomach filled with nervousness and excitement. 

Kuroo's lips slowly opening, Kenma followed doing the same back. Now, things were melting inside Kenma. His body started to slightly tremble as he realized he was now on top of Kuroo with his legs wrapped around the other males waist.

"What are we–" he whimpered into the kiss. He was embarrassed by it but that whimper alone caused things to go further. Kuroo's lust seeping out further for Kenma to see. Their tongues now twirling against each other with pure passion.

Kenma's inability to follow with Kuroo actions led there to be small drips of saliva rolling down Kenma's lips, traveling down to his jawline.

This moment cutting perfectly through Kenma's gloomy mood. Kenma's fingers gliding through Kuroo's black hair, making it even messier than usual.

One of Kenma's arms was around Kuroo's neck, pulling him closer against his body. He Left no room what so ever.

"A-Ah~" Kenma's breathing was heavy.

The feeling of pure intoxication from how good it felt to have Kuroo's body against his was unbearable.

Kenma's hips started to move gently up against Kuroo.

They were both wearing clothes yet that didn't stop them from grinding the fuck against each other.

Kuroo's hands were gripping The back of Kenma's shirt, pushing him down against his erection.

The spell they were both in was starting to make a faster and more fluid movement.

Kenma let out very few moans, holding so much in that he felt like he was going to pass out.

He heard Kuroo grunt in pleasure. Kuroo's moans escaping very rarely as well Kenma felt Kuroo bite the bottom of his small lips causing a sweet moan to slide out.

" _I-I feel so weird~_ " Kenma said softly, departing himself from the kiss to catch some air.

"K-Ku-" he choked up a bit, arching his back as Kuroo's grinding started to get rougher. Kenma's fingers closing into a fist full Kuroo's hair as he held back the moans that were dying to come out.

Kenma realized that if they had their pants off he would have been riding Kuroo's—

Kenma's thoughts were pulled away as Kuroo whispered sexily into his ear.

"You feel weird because you're turned on~ you're turned on by me~" Kenma's face turned pure red, his stomach filling with that anxiety that made him want to puke.

_Why was he doing this?_

_Why did the fuck did he have a raging boner?_  

_When did the Legend Of Zelda music stop?_

The room was filled with an unwanted silence.

With all those nights that he swore to himself that he'd **NEVER** do it with anyone that wasn't Link from Legend of Zelda he started to tremble– in fear.

_Snapoutofitsnapoutofitsnapoutofitsnapoutofit_

His mind started to get hazy with those familiar gray clouds of thoughts that never left him alone.

_This curse called anxiety beginning to take over._

Why did he suddenly feel so guilty with that contact? He's heard and seen way worse while reading BL manga on the down-low.

He couldn't help it. It just felt so wrong. Kuroo wasn't wrong; Not at all.

He was wrong. Kenma was wrong. Everything about him was completely wrong. Inside and out.

"Kenma- Kenma- Hey- you listening?"

He blinked twice and realized...  _He snapped out of it._

"Huh?!" He moved his head quickly and hissed— he hit his head against Kuroo's.

"Hurt–" Kuroo painfully whispered while rubbing his head.

Kenma didn't bother with trying to rub his head.

Being hit in the head was something he did on the daily because he'd constantly fall asleep on near his computer and his head would go down to the table with a smack.

It was normal.

"Hey, you good?" Kuroo's voice said warily. "You looked terrified there..."

Kenma shook his head. "No, I wasn't terrified." He assured him. "Just a lot on my mind."

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. "I know I upset you earlier."

Those words caused Kenma gulp nervously. More anxiety decided to knock at his emotions. 'No, no, no it's not your fault." He said gently.

"I got the feeling that I lit a fuse you weren't planning to light" Kuroo said plainly, staring at the blonde.

". . . . but it's not your fault. You have no fault in that." Kenma said looking back up at him with sincerity.

"You did _nothing wrong_ , it was all me."

All. Kenma's. Fault.

Kuroo shook his head. "Let's both take the fault, it'll make things fall into peace." He added. "But that doesn't mean I won't work hard to get you to go out with me."

Kenma flinched a bit in his words. He saw a huge grin on Kuroo's lips start to form.

"We're both going to work together in this. Side by side. You'll be right next to me. We can work on your anxiety together. Let's go out to a different place everyday! We'll be there for as long as you want. Once you feel uncomfortable, we leave!"

Kenma stayed silent. By this point he should've been trembling in fear with what Kuroo has said.

That wasn't happening though, so he took advantage of that.

"Together?" He asked.

"Yeah, I mean that's what to be with another person means right?" Kuroo said with a sweet smile.

"Okay." He responded with a small smile. The first smile he had ever given to Kuroo.

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma and nuzzled into his neck.

"Kenma Kozume, I completely adore you." He said in such a quiet and peaceful tone. "I crumble completely when you cry."

He felt the arms around his waist tighten. "I'm always going to be here– let me be here– give me the chance to stay by your side." Kuroo's breathing was a bit uneven.

Kenma's hands trailed around Kuroo's back.

He hugged him as tight as he could. "Kuroo I've never met a person like you."  He paused, shaking my inhaling.

"I don't know if you actually mean what you say." He sighed while running his fingers through hair.

"I'm willing to let us work on this together. I want to learn how to trust again." Kenma painfully smiled.

"I want to do that with you and–"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

Kenma quickly looked at his door in alarm.

"Are you expecting someone?" Kuroo asked quietly.

"No, I'm not." Kenma said in silence. "But I'll get it." Kenma's body lifted up and walked towards the door.

His fingers started shaking a bit, quickly opening the door and peeping his head out.

"Is this apartment 505?" Said a deep voice. Kenma stared into the eyes of a stealthy, tall, blonde, and thin male.

"The number isn't on your door but your neighbor is 504, he said Kuroo was here. is that true?"

His hair was a bright blonde, his skin pale, he had black framed glasses, his figure was intimidating and his height was absolutely astonishing.

 "Um, yes. Can I help you?" Kenma said in alarm. The reason his apartment number wasn't on his door was because he didn't want people finding it.

"I need to see Kuroo." The mysterious man made Kenma flinch up.

He could have sworn that he had just gotten a quick glare from this stranger.

"Kuroo someone is here for you." He said blankly, turing around and realizing that Kuroo was already behind him.

" _What the hell are you doing here?_ " Kuroo's voice was in a tone that Kenma's had never hear before.

"I need to talk to you, Kuroo~" the blonde guy said in a devilish tone that made Kenma tense up even more than he already was.

"Whatever. Make it quick." Kuroo said getting out of Kenma's place. He didn't say anything to Kenma. 

  _He just left._

 

* * * *

He was left with complete silence. Kenma's mind being flooded with who that person was and why they made Kuroo so pissed with just being in his presence.

Kenma decided that it wasn't healthy to dwell on things. He'd already always dwelled on his past. There was no need to dwell on the present as well.

He got up and reached over for his 3DS and started to play.

Who was that person?

Why did they want to talk to Kuroo?

Why did he have to interrupt?

Kenma sighed as he pressed buttons on his system, not even thinking about the game.

_So why is Kuroo mad at that guy?_

_What past do they have together?_

_Since when have they known each other?_

_Why do they know each other?_

_Wait–_

_Does Kuroo want to date me?_

_Why?_

He wasn't even playing his game. It just sat on his lap as he stared at the ground thinking. He didn't really need to play right now anyways.

He just needed the security of having something near him.

The security of feeling the presence of something there.

He didn't necessarily like being alone, he preferred having someone there but not many people enjoyed the idea of sitting around in pure silence while someone plays video gam–

 ** _"God fucking dammit, Tsukishima don't you dare!!!"_** Kuroo's voice was borderline screaming.

Kenma's body stiffened.

"Hey, Don't yell at me You're the one who left me, _remember_?!" Tsukishima's voice was weaker than Kuroo's.

Kenma's eyes widened.

_They. . . Dated?_

" **Hah You act as if I didn't have a reason. We can't be together. We're _fucking toxic_ to each other and you know it, Tsukki!** " Kuroo's voice was shaky and louder than ever.

If only their rooms weren't so close to each other. Kenma's face was filled with dread with what he heard next..

"Oho? really now? Toxic? Is that what we are?" He heard a scoff. "No wonder we're addicted to each other, then."

Kenma's chest felt heavy as he took a deep breath in. His hands started shaking as he tried to get a tight grip on his 3DS.

"Shut the hell up, you bastard!" Scowled Kuroo. "I'm not forgiving you for being a _manipulative fuck_!"

Tsukishima started laughing.

_Why the fuck is he laughing?_

_Is he sick?_

Anymore of this and Kenma was about to throw up. He was filled with thoughts of pure confusion and anxiety.

His hands started shaking violently.

Trying his best to reach other to his phone and headphones but they were too far.

He got up and grabbed them. Shoved his headphones in his ears and blasted his music to full volume.

_He had enough._

There were so many new emotions in one day, he couldn't handle this many.

So, he fell asleep for the night.

Bundled up into his pillows while letting the music in hear ears carry away any emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this fanfic is gonna change a lot so if you don't like sexual..kinda fucked up... scenarios and explicit things don't read it. This chapter wasn't edited or anything. Give me a break I'm trying my best. I hope this chapter wasn't a let down. Next chapter is going to be SUPER long.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys.  
> I feel so horrible haha. I'm going to be honest and tell all of you that I edited this chapter and re-posted it.  
> I hated the way it was written before and I couldn't deal with how it turned out.  
> This is the same Chapter 6 just fixed up and stuffed with more detailing for you guys.  
> sorry ahhhh I'm such a horrible writer... I'll try harder on the next chapter.

**[Tuesday: the next day]**

The best nights for Kenma were the ones where he had no dreams, no nightmares, and it was just pure emptiness.

He was wide awake but his eyes refused to open. He took a deep breath in and at that moment where he opened his eyes, his phone vibrated.

A message.

His hands covered his face in annoyance as he groaned.

He was convinced that it was Sugawara checking up on him to see the progress on the story boards. His body lazily got up to sit on the bed. Grabbing his phone; swiping towards his messages.

As he swiped the screen to check who it was, his eyes widened.

It was from Kuroo.

All the feelings from the night before wanted to come back.

The message read:

_"Good day out today. No way I'm letting the little house kitten stay Indoors. Meet me at the park near our apartment building. No exceptions."_

_Damn. ._  
What was it about Kuroo Tetsurou that just drove Kenma's anxiety out of him.

Kenma felt a sincere smile come across his lips.  No one was around go look at him... So he let the soft smile free as his fingers began to tap on his screen:

_'I told you to stop calling me a kitten. Since when did you start ordering me around? Whatever, I like it, I don't mind being a little controlled-'_

His thumbs stopped typing, his face turned pink as he quickly deleted the message.

His fingers send a quick _'Ok.'_ to Kuroo.

Pure embarrassment filled his chest as he stood up and began to prepare for the day.

* * * *

Kenma's eyes were greeted with the sight of Kuroo sitting on a park bench waiting for him. The day was bright which gave Kenma a sweet sign of relief.

 

 _"this is gonna be a good day"_ he thought _._

 

Kenma's hands were cold and clammy as he greeted Kuroo. "uh, hey."

 

He tried to smile but the only thing coming from the nervous kitten was a slight twitch of the upper lip.

 

Kuroo's dark eyes stared down at Kenma with a sweet sincerity "Hey there, Kitten."

 

_"His face is so smug--_

 

_but It's so hot_

 

_is it smug or is it hot?_

 

_fuck!.. fuck Kenma-- no don't fuck Kenma-- WHAT?!"_

 

"let's go through this day together?" These words Kuroo spoke cut all his thought at once. That stupid wide grin on his face assured Kenma on so many levels.

 

Kuroo held out his hand and that grin never left his smug sexy face.

 

He held Kuroo's smooth hand with a soft blush on his face.

 

Kuroo's hand was big compared to Kenma's, rough, yet gentle.

 

"Yeah.." He mumbled quietly; excited beyond belief.

 

He knew Kuroo heard it because the grip between their hands tightened in a comfortable manner, causing the warmth between their hands to strengthen.

 

The day continued smoothly.

 

Even though it was late winter, the park was still beautiful. The scenery around them was dull but the snow made everything bright.

 

Kenma had run into a cat and spent a lot of time petting it while Kuroo got them some warm drinks.

 

Once Kuroo came back the cat dipped off in fear.

 

Kenma looked up at Kuroo and giggled lightly.

 

"Why'd you scare the cat so much? Are you known for being a _pet-ophile_?"

 

That lame ass pun drove them to both laugh so hard that it scared the birds on the bare trees away.

 

The warmth that Kenma felt in the pit of his stomach as he laughed _felt so good._

 

_It was a revolutionary feeling._

 

There was nothing better than sincere laughter.

 

After they calmed down, Kuroo and Kenma started walking aside a frozen pond the park had. Their hands intertwining together so naturally as the brisk wind blew against their bodies.

 

"You think the pond is frozen enough to stand on?" Asked Kenma curiously.

 

"Well, it's late winter so it's probably thawing.... But we could always test it out." Kuroo said in a devilish and playful tone.

 

He shoved Kenma very softly but it was enough strength to make the smaller male tilt over; close to the pond.

 

Almost falling into the frozen water; Kenma's hair stuck up in goosebumps from the scare of almost falling in.

 

He quickly latched onto Kuroo's arm and whimpered a bit in fear.

 

" ** _Don't. Ever. Fucking. Joke. Like. That. Again._** " The half-blonde scolded.

 

 _"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so sor_ -" Kuroo apologized but in between all of his apologies there were short laughs. He inhaled sharply, containing any other laughter that wanted to come out.

 

Kenma's face was bright pink, he didn't let go of Kuroo's arm. They walked a long the pond until Kenma decided he wanted to go home.

* * * *

**[Wednesday]**

He had gotten Kuroo's message around 9:30AM. It was now 10:15AM and Kenma was very close to arriving to the place Kuroo had told him to go to.

 

_Starbucks._

 

The last time **KENMAN** went there, it wasn't the best time.

 

He inhaled deeply, trying to relax his tense body.

 

As he walked, he just thought about how Kuroo has cared for him so much... to take off time from his day _just to be with him_.

 

Once again, he took a sharp inhale and thought about how bad he wanted to see Kuroo's Face.

 

A smile wanted to creep up his face but he stopped it from happening since he was in public.

 

His thoughts were spilling out, anything could happen while he was in the outside world--

 

 _"Oof-!_ " He had run into someone big.

  
"I'm so sorry" he stuttered out nervously; the cold sweat from his hands could be felt as he nervously shifted them into his pockets.

 

"Oh?, so  _now,_ you're sorry?" He heard a familiar scoff that sent the _worst feeling_ to his chest.

 

Once Kenma was brave enough to look at the person he had just run into, his stomach turned. _It was Tsukishima_.

 

"Well well well... If it isn't Kuroo's little _house pet._ " Tsukishima said with an attitude.

 

"I– _what_?" Asked Kenma in an annoyed tone.

 

"You heard me. Kuroo is just around you because you're like a pet to him. _Nothing more and nothing less_. He just needs something to take his mind off _me._ "

 

_'Nothing more, nothing less'_

 

_'Nothing.'_

 

_' N o t h i n g"_

 

Kenma's eyes widened and he picked his feet up to start walking away from this atrocious encounter.

 

He was immediately blocked by Tsukishimas long arm.

 

"Listen up,"

 

Tsukishima gave a cold scoffed again before he continued.

 

" _Kuroo is mine_ , he's wrapped around my pinky. He wants _no one_ else but me. "

 

Kenma's eyes started to water and twitch. He didn't know if he was angry or sad.

 

_It was every emotion at once._

 

He hadn't felt this annoyed since...

 

" _Did you hear me_?" said Tsukishima 

 

Kenma looked up, stating straight into Tsukishimas eyes.

 

The dirty grin on Tsukishima's lips made the angry messages against Kenma's spine knock at the door of his mouth.

  
"If you think you own a human you're funny. If Kuroo chooses to be around me by his own will then that's how it's gonna go _whether you like it or not_. You're not Kuroo and you're no one to think a living human is _your_ property."

 

Tsukishima put his arm down and laughed. "So I got the little cat to hiss at me, huh?"

 

Kenma twitched a bit.

 

"Don't Call me th-"

 

He was interrupted by Tsukishima's annoying ass voice.

 

"So i hear you like games? You stay around my man..." Tsukishima paused ago give Kenma a glare. "Oh, I'll give you a game to play."

 

Kenma took the chance to dip away in anger and pure annoyance.

 

He walked in to the front door of Starbucks with shaking hands.

 

His eyes quickly darting around to look for Kuroo in panic.

 

 _He felt so dizzy_.

 

_He couldn't breathe._

 

Kuroo walked up and right beside him holding two cups, handing one to Kenma.

 

"Hey! You okay? Let's sit." Kuroo said quickly and went to sit in a table for two. "I saw that you ordered a Chai Latte last time you came here. So, I go you another one."

 

Kuroo nervously smiled at Kenma. It was obvious that he was afraid he had gotten the wrong drink for him.

 

"and this time I made sure they spelled your name right! see?" He said while placed the drink in front of Kenma. 

 

The name was written perfectly on the cup in rushed handwriting.

 

It calmed Kenma seeing Kuroo's efforts.

 

 There was a soft silence and Kuroo broke it by chuckling a bit.

 

"You must be really picky with what goes in you..."

 

He coughed a bit and quickly continued his sentence. "In your system- that is." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a bit flustered from the sentence he had just spoken.

 

Kenma was dazed. He had no emotional energy what so ever.

 

Kuroo awkwardly clearly his throat.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

 

"Ye- Yeah, I'm okay" said Kenma hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he should tell Kuroo about his encounter with Tsukishima.

 

He was already too affected by it so he just pushed it away to the back of his mind. 

 

Where all the other dark thoughts were pushed.

 

As they sat down, a wave of silence moved around their area. The TV in the Starbucks played the daily news.

 

Kenma sipped his hot drink as he paid attention to the news.

 

_"In alert to this weeks weather forecast, we depict a snow storm this coming Friday, we hope you will all stay indoors and tuned in with us as we follow this storm......"_

 

Kenma looked off to the side with a sigh. He realized that his hands had stopped trembling.

 

"So, is there anything you wanna do?" Kenma heard Kuroo say. Kenma shook his head and sighed.

 

"I don't feel so good today. I want to go home.." Said Kenma.

 

Kuroo blinked in curiously as to why he'd felt bad and nodded.

 

"As you wish." He smiled assuringly to Kenma.

 

Kuroo and Kenma proceeded to walk out in complete silence. It wasn't an awkward silence at all. It was only awkward if one made it awkward.

 

It was a bland aura.

—

**[Thursday]**

"Hey! I never asked tew com hewe in the furst place!" Kenma slightly yelled, a hiccup followed afterwards.

 

His lips touched a cup of peach flavored Ciroc. The burning flavor stung against his throat and made his body tingle with pleasure.

 

"WOOO! awe man this is... So..." He put his head down in the table. His hair covered his completely wasted and pink face. "...great~"

 

Kuroo's eyebrow twitched. "Okay, we've only been here for _an hour and a half_... Kenma you're already drunk. You should have told me you couldn't tolerate alcohol." Said Kuroo warily, moving the long hair away from Kenma's face.

 

Kenma's pointer finger shot right onto Kuroo's face. " I DID TELL YOU I COULDN'T TALERTATE UT BIT YOU DIDN'T LISTUN TO ME!!!" His words were completely slurred and messed up but his argument was true.

He _did_ tell Kuroo that we wasn't good with alcohol.

 

He saw Kuroo flinch a bit.

 

Kenma pouted a bit and started laughing afterwards. "Ooo~ did I scare you~? Did I scare you, big man?" Kenma teased as he struggled to pick his own body up, stumbling right on top of Kuroo's shoulder for support.

 

Kuroo sighed deeply and quickly picked up Kenma bridal style.  
"Come on, let's get you home."

 

"No no!! I DUNT WANNA LEAF PLEASE." He pouted and then stayed quiet. Not wanting to go up against a big strong man like Kuroo Tetsurou.

* * * *

Putting Kenma into the bed was the biggest struggle of the night, he didn't wanna let go.

 

Kenma couldn't help but just love the warmth of being close to Kuroo.

 

Even better: being _carried_ by Kuroo.

 

Kenma's giggling was low, childish even, as he was put down on his bed.

  
"Huehuehue~ thank you~ you're like my knight in shining armor."

 

Kuroo chuckled a bit and wanted to pull away from Kenma's grasp but his arms were securely wrapped around his neck.

 

Kenma pulled his arms in closer, their faces meeting.

 

Kenma arched his thin body up a bit to make the space between them shut completely.

 

" _Hey, knight_ ~?" Kenma's voice lowered down a little. His aura changed from silly to a fiery and lustful. His plump red cheek felt warm. That warmth in his cheeks matched the warmth in his lower body.

 

"Um...y-yeah?" Stuttered out Kuroo with a gulp. His face turned completely red. He refused to make eye contact with him.

 

Kenma huffed a bit and wrapped his legs around Kuroo.

 

"Look at me~" Even though his words were still slurred, he started speaking in such an adorable manner.

 

He started to trace Kuroo's jawline with his small tongue very slowly, causing the knight on top of him to paralyze.

 

"Hey, Let's do it~ _let's have sex_ ~" Kenma said with a sweet whimper, grinding himself against Kuroo.

 

"K-Kenma, come on.. C-Calm down..." Kuroo said with a nervous stutter.

 

Kenma whimpered softly and started to take off his own shirt.

 

"Wa- wai- wait! Kenma!" Kuroo tried to stop Kenma from taking off his shirt but it was already on the ground.

 

_Kenma's body started to feel hot._

 

"You're on top of me~ you could _easily_ make me a cumming mess~" He let out a hot sigh against Kuroo ears. " _please~"_ Kenma's hips kept grinding against Kuroo.

 

"You're killing me Kuroo... I just want you inside me. _I want you inside me now_." He whined, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. 

 

"Am I not hot enough? Is it because I'm not your type?" The tears just got larger as his drunk mind thought of Tsukishima.

 

Tall, handsome, blonde, thin and yet still toned.

 

"Kenma... You've got to be kidding me." Kuroo quickly used his strength to get out of Kenma's hold and licked his lips.

  
"You're more than my type, you're all that I want..." Kuroo's voice was filled with lust but went soft as he kept talking "I'm not going to take advantage of your body while you're drunk.... But I'm not just gonna leave you like this either."

 

Kenma was too busy reminiscing on his drunk insecure thoughts to realize that Kuroo was taking off his pants, then his boxers....

 

Then he snapped out of it.

 

There was something warm enclosing around his member.

 

His eyes looked down to his lower body. The sight itself was already causing him to _melt._

 

Kuroo was to sucking his-

 

" _Aa- ah~ Kuroo~ don't- I- I was joking bef- before._." His breath started getting heavier. Kuroo's mouth felt so fucking good on his member.

 

He was drunk and his words were slurred and mumbled out adorably.

  
Kenma's back arched as he moaned loudly. He was wasted and his mind was in a place of pure drunk pleasure. The moans kept going, following in sync with Kuroo's head bobbing up and down.

 

" _Ah ah ah_ " Kenma put his hands over his mouth but that didn't stop the sounds from being heard.

 

There was no way to express how good he felt. " _Fuck!_ "

 

Grabbing onto the bed sheets as hard as he could was the only way to stop him from yelling out. " _Aaaahh~ Kuroo~! St-stop-- I'm- I'm- gonna--_ "

 

Kenma's soft legs trembled in a way that sent cold goosebumps all over his body.

 

A warmth started to build up in his pelvic area. Fast gasps were let out as Kuroo sucked a bit harder, but slowed down.

 

"N-Not like- th- ah-!" he choked on his words, saliva running down his lips.

 

The potent smell of alcohol was taking over the room but it only made Kenma more horny.

 

"Can't hold it~" The small tears strolled down his face. He gasp one last time  and arched his back as he came right into Kuroo's mouth.

 

Kenma's body felt completely numb and so fucking satisfied...

 

He looked down at Kuroo and realized that Kuroo had... Swallowed his cum....

 

"Why did you swall .. Nn..nnn..." Kenma couldn't finish the sentence.

 

Kenma's eyes started to close very slowly. The fatigue finally kicking in.

 

His body felt like it was floating in a cloud of feathers.

 

Kenma's drunk mind gave him no power to even think about anything.

 

So, Slumber took over.

 

**[Friday]**

There's something about waking up with a hangover that Kenma will _never_ get use to.

 

A sudden searing headache hit his temples and a rough sigh left his lips.

 

His breathe reeked of vodka.

 

He was wearing his pajamas, his body felt really light and he had no aches.

 

He had no recollection of last night what so ever.

 

The last thing he remembered was when Kuroo put a glass of vodka toward him. Then another, and another, and another, until it went all hazy after that.

 

He shifted around the bed for a little before he check his phone and his message from Kuroo read:

_Today is karaoke day. We'll rent out a private room and sing our hearts out while we pig out on food. I'll make sure there's some apple pie :)_

 

Kenma smiled at the message and concealed the mean hangover as best as he could.

 

Today was going to be the best.

 

* * * *

Kenma was exactly on time, the air was brisk and  a bit dreary but Kenma didn't mind.

 

He went inside and looked around the waiting area for Kuroo. He was nowhere to be seen. Kenma sighed a little and he figured that maybe he was a little too early.

 

He stepped outside to wait for Kuroo for about 30 minutes.

 

Just standing there.

 

The air got much colder but he figured it was his own body getting cold because his anxiety started to rise.

 

After the 45 minutes, he messaged Kuroo:

_Hey. I'm here. Where are you?_

 

His fingers started to tremble a bit. He walked inside and went up to the lady behind the desk.

 

"Is there any chance there's a room under the name Kuroo?" He asked with a worried face.

 

The lady looked down at the reservation booklet and shook her head. "No, I'm sorry." She said with pity.

 

Kenma's body felt even colder than when he was outside. "Oh, it's okay. Thank you." He went back outside and waited.

 

Kuroo was kind, he was always gentle towards Kenma. His mind was far away from the idea of Kuroo ditching him. Maybe he's late because he missed the trip here.

 

'Maybe he's on his way right this second just to have a good time with someone as boring as me? If I leave now... I'll miss when he arrives..' Kenma thought.

 

The sky was slowing turning into a bright and pale gray.

 

Kenma stood there, his feet grew tired so he just squatted down with his back against the wall of the karaoke place.

 

The brisk wind was no longer fresh, it was freezing.

 

The snow storm had begin.

 

The strong winds carried the snow that was falling from the sky, the small ice flakes hit Kenma's face with a sharp sting.

 

Kenma's used his hands to wipe his face clean from the particles.

 

His nose was red and his eyes started watering. He was on the verge of tears.

 

He didn't check his phone because he knew there was no text back.

 

The tears rolled down his face as he reached his phone and saw the time.

 

_He waited for 5 horrific hours._

 

_The storm was horrible._

 

_He couldn't feel his body._

 

He couldn't even feel himself _crying._

 

He collapsed internally when he saw the worker of the karaoke place closing up.

 

The painfully cold wind was no match to the storm of tears that slid down his face.

 

He didn't bother cleaning the tears nor the snow that was on his face.

 

His numb body stood up. He started walking home with the thick tears blocking his sight every second.

 

Nothing mattered.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Graphic descriptions of child abuse and sexual harassment.  
> Please do not continue reading if you do not like scenes with those things in it (especially blood-- and vomit)
> 
> I told you guys theyre my OTP and that I'd make them suffer...

 Blood was dripping down the chin of a small child.

It was coming from his nose.

The stinging pain was spreading across the middle of his face as he tried to wash the fresh blood off from his face.

It was a searring pain that numbed his ability to feel around that area.

"Hurry up and wash that before your mother gets home, Kenma." Said a demanding male voice.

"Yes, Father." Said the small child named Kenma.

_"Don't you call me Father,_ you lost all rights to that the moment you proved yourself useless." The man scoffed and said "Don't talk back to me."

The boy stood silent; staring at himself in the mirror.

The scratches across his face were from all the back hand slaps he had received.

Dad's durable wedding ring was responsible.

He tried to smile for the arrival of his ever so loving mother but the only thing that was happening was a twitch of the lip.

"Smile" Kenma gasped desperately.

His breathing started go get heavier. Panic acrose all across his body making his eyes water completely.

" _ **Smile!"**_ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~he screamed and hit the mirror with his small hand. It made a loud bang but the mirror looked untouched.

The panic that was festering inside made him want to throw up.

It it took a few seconds to build up and throw up was exactly what he did.

The stinging pain in his throat from the regurgitation made him start crying.

The tears mixed with the blood, both trailing down his face to join the vomit on the sink.

If the feelings he felt inside were to take a physical form it would look and smell exactly like the filth on the sink.

The voices inside his mind repeated the words his father was saying while beating him.

_You're just a disgraceful child._

_You useless 'should've been'._

_I could spit on you, dirty prick._

_you'll never be my son, you're nothing to me._

_Me? Your father? HAH! Hilarious._

_you're absolutely nothing if you can't live up to the Kozume name._

_It's a shame, I wasted my time having you._

It didn't take long for little Kenma to run into his bed after cleaning up and sleep away his feelings.

Poor child, _so pathetic and different from the rest._

* * * * 

The shock of waking up from a nightmare he hadn't had since his college days made Kenma feel horrible.

It was 10AM but the time didn't  matter to him.

While he checked the time on his phone he saw that he had 10 missed calls and 12 unread messages.

His body however, felt unwilling to move a single finger.

His phone slipped out of his hands and he just slowly drifted back into a deep sleep.

* * * *

"Hey, your name is Kenma, right?" Said a guy walking up to him.

"It's lunch break! Why aren't you sitting with anyone?" He asked curiously.

Kenma's skin crawled with anxiety as he thought of ways to get himself out of the situation.

"Uh, I don't have anyone to have lunch with" said the shy 18 year old. "I don't even know you.." He continued. "You should go-- Uh I'm finished with my food anyways."

kenmas as eyes refused to look up. They shifted from left to right but never up to the person in front of him. 

"You don't know me? I'm in your class!" The guy said with a chuckle. He had short blonde hair and pale blue eyes. He looked thin and a bit nerdy.

"If you you want I could introduce you to some of my buddies. You're a college freshmen like me, right? So why not meet some of my friends?" This guys piercing blue eyes stared straight into Kenma's golden ones.

kenma's innocence and lack of social experience lead him into trusting this guy who was offering something he's been  wanting for as long as he can remember.

"Okay." He said with a nod and assurance.

• • • •

"Why are we going to the back of the building? We shouldn't be this far-" Kenma said quietly. 

"My friends are upperclassmen— last years." Said the guy.

Kenma's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" He asked not believing that puny college freshmen like them would get around college seniors.

"Yeah! They- Uh- always hang out here in secrecy" He stuttered out, sounding a bit nervous. "You know how the big boys are, always looking for trouble."

As they arrived, there was a group of three tall guys. The one standing in the middle, the leader, had milky brown eyes and chestnut colored hair.

"Hey guys!" Chirped the guy who's name Kenma still didn't know. "I got a new buddy here who- uh- he's looking for new friends to make." His voice started to tremble.

"Is this the kid who's gonna replace you?" Said the one in the middle. His voice was smooth yet it had its own manliness to it.

"Y-Yes, he wants new friends." There was a small moment of silence. The leader looked at his two buddies and nodded at them. It was communication without words.

Kenma was grabbed roughly by two of the guys and brought to his knees. "Ow–" 

"You want to make new friends right, Kenma? Want to play with us and hang out?" His voice spoke out with the worst intentions.

Kenma looked up at him, staring into those poisonous brown eyes. "Yes," He continued. "...but why am I on the ground?" He asked curiously.

The moment Kenma spoke those words the man started unzipping his jeans, taking them off halfway. 

His boxers were lowered to reveal a hard member. "Kenma we can do anything and everything together if you just make me feel good, yes? It hurts, a lot. Make it feel good?" The man said desperately, staring at Kenma with those devious brown eyes.

" _Wait- Hey- Let me go!- hold on!!_ " He looked at the guy who brought him here and started to panic. "Why would- why'd you bring me here?" He asked in horror.

"I'm sorry- I'm- they said I could be let go if I found someone new" The guy quickly ran off after talking.

Leaving Kenma behind.

"Kenma, this doesn't have to be bad. We will be your friends, I promise. Relax, okay?" His voice was so tantalizing.

The man's fingers slipped right in between the middle part of Kenma's hair.

He was being gentle yet he was desperate. Horny.

"We got a deal? I'll care for you, I promise." He spoke pulling Kenma's face closer to his raging erection. This caused Kenma to gasp.

"I don't- Uh-" Kenma paused and stared into the pretty brown eyes of the man who changed his life forever.

Kenma's mouth slowly began to open.

"I don't-.." He paused. "Do you promise?" He said weakly, sounding just as desperate as the man in front of him.

The man nodded in assurance. Giving Kenma a sly smile. "I, Oikawa Tooru, will be absolutely useful to you if you are useful to me."

_Useful? Me?_

_Useful. . ._

_Useful. ._

_Useful._

There was a long silence that stood for what seemed like forever until Kenma's mouth opened one more time. This time it wasn't to speak, but to take his hands and hold the erect member gently.

Looking up at those pretty brown eyes, His tongue begun to swirl against the tip of the member.

Without any time to waste, his mouth was filled and sucking on it like a lollipop.

_Once and for all. . Becoming useful._

The slurping sounds and soft whimpers slowly turned into sweet- _ringing?_

_RingRing RingRing RingRing RingRing_

Kenma's eyes shot open as he gasped for air. He Started to tear up but his phone stopped him from crying.

Without checking the caller ID he quickly picked up the call and answered with a desperate "Hello?" He tried to hide the obvious anxiety.

"Geeze! Finally! It's already five PM, are you okay? Are you home?" Kuroo's voice sighed out.

Kenma took a moment of silence to get himself together "Yeah... I am.. Why?" He asked.

Kuroo quickly answered back with "Can you open up, please?"

"Sure" he mumbled into the phone and hung up.

He went to go open the door. Not for Kuroo, for himself. He needed to know why he was stood up.

The fact that Kenma was emotionally distraught lead his body to be weaker than usual.

It was painful.

He walked to his door and took a deep breath in before turning the knob and letting Kuroo in.

He didn't look up at Kuroo, just looked at the ground and started to walk to go sit on his gaming chair.

He turned on his PS4. It was obvious Kuroo was staring at him. "So? You just gonna stare at me?"

Kuroo took a while but he ended up speaking by saying the last thing Kenma wanted to hear. "I'm so sorry about yesterday, Kenma. Tsuki came over, he took my phone and didn't let me out of my apartment."

Tsuki? That name was almost as poisonous as the name Oikawa now.

Kenma felt his face get hot.

Jealousy and rage mixed with saddness wasn't the ideal emotions.

Betrayl lingered above him, ready to attack at any moment.

He was absolutely done. "You knew what, Kuroo?" He scoffed and put his controller down. "I waited five hours for you." Kenma's eyes started to water.

"No, Kenma I -" 

"No! I'm quiet but not mute, got it? It's my turn to talk." He tried to keep his composure together but ended up crying.

"It was so cold.... I was such a mess. I was an embarrassment waiting outside for you in the snow like some kind of-" he paused. "it wasn't just a half an hour. I didn't want to give up on the possibility of you coming late. I- I wanted to be with you so badly. I waited as long as possible."

He wiped his tears and got closer to Kuroo, looking into his eyes. "I waited so long because-" The tears kept going. "Kuroo, I - I like you so much. I don't want to be without you. I want us to be together."

Kenma's tears were sitting at the corners of his eyes. Kuroo's face was surprised.

There was a long silence between them.

They broke the silence by accidentally speaking in unison.

"Kuroo, I-"

"Kenma, I'm-"

His breathing was a bit uneven, felling a bad aura around this whole situation.

"I, uh, I'm happy I make you feel that way." Kuroo said.

Dred took over Kenma like a virus.

"But- Kenma-" Kuroo exhaled and continued. "Kenma, yesterday I got back together with Tsukishima." Kuroo's said with a trembling voice.

Kenma's face felt blue. His body felt like it was going to his the floor in any moment.

His vision started to blur.

It was the tears again. 

"Oh, uh." He looked down to the ground and stepped back.

"Well, I have a lot of work to do" Kenma said.

"Kenma-" 

"my boss was calling me earlier- I really should get to work. You should leave." Kenma sighed out and tried to hold in the tears that blocked his sight.

He couldn't see anything. In a way, it was relieving that he couldn't.

Kuroo left. . . and the very little faith in love that Kenma had went along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating the fic any sooner.  
> I still haven't given up on it I just needed time.  
> I know my fic has a lot of mistakes and I will fix that  
> and try my best to make the reading for you guys better.  
> I hope you enjoy the rest of this fanfic because regardless of how carelessly written it is I still do put a lot of time into it.  
> uh... I'm sorry for this chapter D;


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